Marriage and Relationship Tips

As divorce rates get higher, the idea of marriage and long term relationships begin to fade into insignificance and unimportance. As the values of the worlds cultures change with time, hope seems to be dwindleing when it comes to the thought of love and happiness with another person forever.

After reviewing a number of studies and articles, this is a list of things Ihave come up with about keeping a marriage or long term relationship in tact and satisfying.

Keep it fresh:
Keep up "The Question Game". My Boyfriend and I play and endless game of questions and it's so great. It doesn't have to be serious questions, although those should be asked too but fun questions are totally acceptable, like "what's your favorite color?" or "did you like that TV last night?". Because once you've been in a relationship for months and years, you may think you know it all or understand them completely, but you may forget some of these little things and the Human mind is very complex and ever changing, so what they may have said 10 months ago may not be the same answer they give today. Don't let filler talk become your only conversations, infact, try to cut the filler talk (talk about nothing) out completely and see what that does.
Also, try to take one day at a time, approach every day as a new an exciting day with your partner. Make sure you do things that you both enjoy together and make sure you share new and exciting activities and experiences together. Don't allow your life to become totally predictable.
Oh and one more thing...FLIRT AWAY!

Don't let outside agents create high expectations:
Don't look at pornography, even if it's with a spouse or significant other (for the wierd people that do that). Also, Limit the chick flicks (romance and romantic comedies) and Avoid Romance Novels. All these things do is make people conciously and/or subconcious long for something more.

Stay Healthey Together:
Excersize & Eat Healthy, this will keep you both in shape and antioxidized, keeping up the attraction as well as keep you happy because of endorphins.
Don't Drink, do drugs or smoke, all these things do is bring you down and release depressants into your body, even if you're using a stimulant-- think about the crash. And If you're going to have a good relationship, you must have good judgement and true love and compassion.
Also, besides just physical health and wellness, keep good mental, emotional and spiritual health and again, make sure you take these aspects on as a couple, together. Each person needs to have peace of mind in the relationship to be satified about the relationship.

Good things take time:
Make sure you have a date night. Even if you have kids, call the sitter. Quality time together is vital to a good relationship. Also, make you take your fair share of vacation time, distance may make the grow fonder, but secret getaways do much more than that.

Honesty is the best policy:
Don't hide anything, especially resentment or something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Always tell the whole truth and always keep them updated. If one side of the relationship has extremely unexpected success it's proven to cause damage.
And if you're always honest with them, even if it hurts or may make things wierd, realize that things will become even more awful or strange if you lie.
Always make sure you're on the same page about everything (most importantly religion, finances, future plans, traditions and how you will discuss things that may cause confrontation) and be open and honest about everything and it will avoid confrontation almost all together when it comes to the make or break topics of a relationship.

When it comes to the throw downs:
Learn to argue constructively and rationally, I like to call this debating rather than actual arguing, it gives it a lighter connotation.
Avoid topics that are sure to cause confontation. If you don't agree on something or don't know how to talk about a subject without arguing, don't even bring it up. It's common sense but we all do it sometimes.
Don't use debates and arguments happening now, against them later.
Don't let an argument about one thing spill over into other areas of the relationship. If its an argument about money, don't let it affect how you help them after a hard day or talk to them at night before bed (which by the way, sub-tip, go to bed at the same time).
Lighten up and communicate directly, honestly and rationally.
Be ever forgiving. Too Hard? Try this... make a goal to forgive them for whatever they did before they do it, it will make forgiving them easier.

Be there:
When your partener has a hard day, be there to support them and love them and lift them up. And when you are there spending time with them, don't take it for granted, pay attention to what they say and feel, this will not only strengthen the relationship and help you get to know them better, but it will help to avoid immediate and future confrontation. And Lastly, when you're there, let them know with a touch (a hug, a kiss, a hand squeeze), your body releases endorphins when you're being touched in a loving way, and (according to Reese Witherspoon on Legally Blonde) "Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't." Need I say more?

Privacy truly matters:
Keep your relationship between the two of you. No twitter, facebook status, myspace, blog updates about trouble or non-trouble in paradise. Paradise woudn't be paradise if it were over populated.

Men, have your woman's back:
Men, empower your woman and be a bit of a feminist sometimes. Help them have indepence and individuality. Help them feel like they don't need you but they want you and it's proven that in most relationships when the woman feels a sense of identity and independence and empowerement, the relationships are more stable and satisfying.
Also, although they need to understand that they want you and don't need you, you still need to take up for your woman. Be her knight in shining armor and protector, and if they tell you not to be... just be a little more inconspicous about it.

Don't get lost in your spouse:
Woman, make time for a brunch, ladies night or spa day every once in a while and Men, make time for for a guys night to watch the big game. The time with your friends will help the woman feel some indepence, which is proven to help relationships. Having Man and Woman time will also make true the statement, distance makes the heart grow fonder and it will give the two of you a balance between together time and seperate time, which truly is needed.
Also, spend a bit of time helping your friends and colleagues with their marriages and reationships too. (Try not to covet anything in the proccess). Give them support and advice. If one divorce happens in a friendship, the other friend could have the desire to make big changes in their life as an individual or in thier relationship. Helping friends marraiges can help yours as well.