Plans

I've always been the kind of person to make plans and have everything planned out to the tee. Well at least until last April... approximately a year ago I got some bad news that changed my life, and I know this might sound stupid but my life revolved around my acceptance to BYU since I could remember and when it didn't happen it broke my heart, changed my life, ruined my plans and crushed my dreams.
A year later, nothings been mended and I am still extremely confused about my future and I hate it. Part of me wishes so badly that I could just get school over and done with, a year and a half from when I would transfer from BYU next spring and focus on my art and live life peacefully expressing my self though my art and living off of my published writing in a small village in Europe with my pet pig Brigham and my husband and one son and my other adopted son from Ethiopia, but I'm just a dreamer and as it has been proven many times before in my life... dreams don't always come true no matter how hard you fight for them and it freakin sucks.
Reality check: I'll probably end up finishing school on time, getting married, and raising four kids in st. George or something ridiculous. I'll probably end up graduating from UVU with a BS and go on to being a secretary or public relations firm agent for a small company just to make ends meat in this horrible and inflated ecomony maybe if im lucky I'll be able to get a puppy or something.
If I could just meet somewhere in the middle that would be great. Maybe graduate from UU in two years get one of those husband thingys, have 3 kids (hopefully boys)and an adopted Ethiopian boy, a dog and a pig in st. george or somewhere living off of my art and a side job at the office. That actually sounds awesome. But knowing me... UGH. I try to hard and get no where most the time. But hey I will never stop dreaming... ever. No matter how many times; no matter how badly my dreams get crushed. And that's probably why you love me huh?